I created the following “booklet” several years ago…
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At the time that I created this “booklet”, I had a pattern of trying to fix things for people and tended to listen to many more repetitive complaints and negativity than was healthy for either other people or myself. At some point, I finally realized I wasn’t helping others or myself by this strategy…and realized it was time to change….and hence, this booklet. I actually did manage to shift and learned how to NOT participate in that type of dynamic.
I continue to try to have a sense of compassion for the person and the struggles they are encountering…but still not participate in listening to the repetitive complaints.
A few days ago, I was talking with someone who is in a similar situation of listening to an overwhelming number of compulsive types of complaints from somebody else. I’m posting this booklet in case the ideas in the booklet might be helpful to her, or others.
And so…for those of us who might be on the receiving end of “too many complaints”….perhaps to realize that listening to negativity doesn’t benefit anyone and to start learning to put firm and clear limits on how much or how often we participate in that type of dynamic.
Added note: a possible way to use this booklet might be to print it out and show it to a person who is presenting problems…mentioning that someone with an online blog had created and posted it…specific to that bloggers life. It also might be used as a “conversation starter”, to bring up the subject in a more “neutral” fashion. Another possibility might be to refer to “the closed complaint department”, in a humorous manner, when situations arise.
Love it!
I will listen to whining, moaning, and complaining ONCE.
I will offer up suggestions on ways around the boulder (or pebble) in their path.
If they do NOT apply the suggestions, that’s fine.
If they continue to whine, moan, or complain about the same issue, I say NMP!
NMP! = Not My Problem 😉
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I guess that given the challenges of a few years ago: aging parents, mothering a teenager and teaching special ed in elementary school, it’s been a bit difficult for me to learn that philosophy. I really could use far more of that NMP outlook….still having compassion, but with active limits on what or how much I’ll listen to. (and yes, sometimes it is a pebble in that person’s path, not a boulder…but they can’t seem to see that)
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