“A Wide Angle Lens”: strategies and 5 steps to learn to accept and adust

Last year, I created a very simple, usable,  step by step system for myself, when trying to cope with or adjust to  a specific challenging reaction or  emotion… (further explanation is below the page…2 of the steps are also found in Dr. Kristin Neff’s writing)

I took those multiple steps and created a page that contains symbols and a simple progression…so it’s easy for me to use and remember…

I use this progression of ideas
when I find myself reacting to a specific situation or person…

it really helps…

  • Wide Angle Lens…Broadening my perspective: looking at the situation, myself or another person,through a wide angle lens…thinking about multiple settings, times, situations…so I see that just because things may not be going well in this moment, there are many times and situations when it has gone  well.
  • Common Humanity: to realize that there are people all over the world…both in this minute and for 1000’s of years who have struggled with this type of challenge…so I’m not alone. His Holiness, the DaliaLama says  “You and I may hold different beliefs …….But such differences in belief, just like differences in experience, are minor compared to our common humanity.”  (the term “common humanity” is also used by Dr. Kristin Neff’s…in her website and writing)
  • This difficulty makes sense … the “seeds”  for this have been present, but are perhaps “sprouting” or “ripening” now:

Parts and pieces= a person’s strengths and weaknesses,

Causes= a person’s history

Conditions= what is happening in the moment

  • This will pass… things change with time:  Feelings go through a progression of …arise….abide….dissolve…..

Below: A simpler,  review/reminder page

Below: A page that reminds me to “talk myself through it” using reassuring words and  ideas in each step….

Below: a “workpage” I created to help myself realize that people have been dealing with similar challenges in every spot on earth for 1000’s of years. Filling this page in really helped me “get” that idea…it’s the idea of “common humanity”…we all have similar struggles.  Pdf images of pages: easier to read: Chart Page 1 : Common Humanity…every place on earth

Below: the continuation of that previous page. The purpose of this page was to try to help myself realize that I wasn’t helping anyone by reacting with negativity or too much emotion….it’s  a bit rhetorical, but I was trying to make the point to myself…it worked.

Pdf of page below…easier to read: Chart Page 2: Common humanity, Shifting out of the reaction

I added some ideas to the page, when I realized that those same factors/steps can apply to or be considered for both happy reactions and challenging reactions…so to learn to keep in them in mind…

And the review page for both happy and challenging reactions to people or situations

Links to a few excellent web sites with very helpful  ideas about “self compassion”

8 Responses to “A Wide Angle Lens”: strategies and 5 steps to learn to accept and adust

  1. enermazing says:

    Great ideas for reminding ourselves that we’re not alone 🙂

    “There’s a time for everything” implies that everything changes.


  2. sufilight says:

    Thanks for these reminders, Kathy. It’s almost like cognitive psychology, teaching us to perceive differently so a healthier mind ensues. I find solace that nothing is permanent, and sometimes fear too!


    • You’re welcome, Marie. The steps are a lot like cognitive psychology, with a huge dollop of kindness and compassion added in! I agree, taking solace in the idea that things aren’t permanent, especially that fear passes…what a relief when it does!


  3. Pingback: Nurturing “self kindness” and “self compassion” | Pocket Perspectives

  4. Pingback: “Arise, abide, dissolve…..” ….the progression of thoughts and feelings | Pocket Perspectives

  5. Patti Clark says:

    Great Post! Thanks for linking it on my post. Nice connection!


I'd love to "hear" your ideas about this....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.