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The “quiet” mind…like the sky…a vast, wide, clear blue sky.
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Typically, even when “my own” mind seems “quiet,” there seem to be quite a few “flowing clouds” passing through my mind….. arising….lasting awhile… and dispersing across the sky…. perhaps, similar to the thoughts, feelings and reactions in my mind…
“arising” out of a variety of factors…although “I” am typically not aware of those factors
“here” for awhile…although in the midst, it may seem permanent or lasting “forever….”
“dispersing”….drifting away…fading…seeming to disappear, as another reaction arises
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A lovely sky…with flowing, wispy, dispersing clouds…lovely
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As I read and study about the “dynamics of mind” …any mind… apparently, there seem to be a number of the very STRONG, important factors that influence my thoughts, feelings and reactions… although, oddly enough, “I” typically have little or no awareness of these factors actively operating and influencing or controlling “my” states of mind.
As a result, I seem to think that most of my reactions are due to “EXTERNAL” factors… the people and situations in my life.
But…..perhaps…not?
Perhaps “internal” factors…factors created within everybody’s minds, often in reaction to our personal perceptions of outer circumstances….perhaps these “internal” factors are controlling the dynamics of my states of mind…both positive and more negative….maybe so…………..
Imprinted, personal, life long patterns,
Numerous imprinted, personal filters,
Reacting to my own sensitivities toward the 8 Worldly Winds,
A multitude of personal preferences, wants and don’t wants,
A vast number of mixed, previous, interrelated, interdependent factors,
A very firm “belief” that “things” are permanent…but they couldn’t be
EVERY thing constantly changing…arising…abiding…dispersing…
Every thing constantly changing and evolving
“I” am usually completely UN-aware of any of these factors operating!
Since “I” am NOT aware of these factors…
“I” typically believe whatever my mind tells me!
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As I view those factors in the foreground that seem to separate “me” from that lovely blue sky background…
the sky…a metaphor for the quieter, more content, steadier state of mind…
the factors…almost like shutters or shades on a window…
influencing how much we are able to “see” or experience
of that lovely, blue sky…
the more quiet, contented mind
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I’ve noticed so many times (!!!) that an odd dynamic seems to occur when these factors activate or stimulate some of “my” many life long habits, preferences or filters…
First of all, I seem to REALLY believe what my mind tells me…. I seem to believe that the factors are due to externals…to other people doing what I don’t like or don’t want or situations happening in ways I don’t like…
My engagement with these factors seem to actually cloud, or perhaps filter, my ability to even catch glimpses of that more peaceful blue sky in the background…that more peaceful state of mind that may be available, but not accessible, when in the midst of reactions….
These factors seem to function like clouds…or, perhaps, like closing shutters on the “windows…” that I try to look out of…..they block the experience of that lovely blue sky………..
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And it seems like….embedded somewhere “within” that active, automatic dynamic seems to be a strong, emerging, insistent sense of a seemingly thick, solid, pervasive “I” …
A sense…or a feeling… of a great big “I” …
with it’s many, many, many…..
“Wants!” “Don’t Wants!”
“Likes!” “Don’t Likes!”
“Gimmme More!” “Go Away!”
…………….ohhhhhhhhh my goodness…………
I seem to be increasing a “recognition” and “awareness” of this dynamic…
observing it as it happens…or at least, soon after it happens…
Perhaps it’s leading to a deeper level of awareness and understanding?
Wow!!!….What a surprise!
There seems to be a great big sense of “I”…
perhaps completely unknowingly coming out of those factors???
Perhaps each “reaction” and associated feeling of “I”
is simply one of the many, many, many senses of “I” that I experience throughout…
a day…a few days…a week…a month…a year…a lifetime…
I wonder if there might simply “seem to be” a multitude of perceived I’s…????
each “one” emerging when those factors are stimulated?
each “I” thinking it’s the ONLY “I”
I wonder if that sense of “I” could be similar to thoughts, feelings and reactions….?
simply…. arising….here for awhile…dispersing...
Wow!.…arising “I”….here for awhile “I”…dispersing “I”…Wow!
Wow!…Wouldn’t that be something!!!???!!!…Wow!
Wow…. “I” might be in for a Big Surprise!
I don’t think the sense of “I” has any awareness of this dynamic!
Wow…I wonder what the reaction of the various “I” ‘s might be???
Ohhhhh my goodness….
“I” works so hard…
so persistently, so continually…
constantly striving to…
prop itself up,
or
keep itself from being knocked off a pedestal…
ohhhh…poor “I”……
Oh dear… “poor “I” “ …it’s pursuing an never-ending, un-fulfillable goal…
And….that perceived sense of “I” doesn’t seem to see this dynamic...not a clue!!!
Maybe even “can’t” see it…???
Oh…goodness me…poor thing…
“I” …. has no clue…
oh my goodness…now what?????
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Starting to become more aware of the “illusory” aspect of this perceived dynamic?
The multiplicity of the “illusions”…..???
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Perhaps, more of a “disappearing staircase….???
….perhaps those steps not “actually”….” there”….???
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Of course, since these perceived dynamics seems to be “embedded” within my mind,
they must work in all directions…
whether I notice a perceived uncomfortable, “negative” reactions
or a perceived enjoyable “positive” reactions…
the potential of those dynamics must simply be available in each moment?
WOW!!!…that’s kind of AMAZING!!!…
and I didn’t even “know” this!
That’s amazing too…
I didn’t have a clue!!
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How about shifting toward positive states of mind…???
with that lovely sky background…
a mind that is brighter and more positive,
a sense of “I” that is more positive, too
even if that sense of “I” might be created….
“I” still seems to think it’s true…
so maybe give it positives?….
nudge it in positive directions…?
cultivate positive states of mind…?
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Slowly, slowly, slowly….I seem to be developing more awareness of this dynamic.
At first, I’ve been trying to bring this awareness to mind, in the midst of little reactions.
I’m trying to slowly habituate my mind to this awareness,
reminding my self again and again and again,
using this awareness more often in the midst of actual moments of reacting
“Ohhhh…of course ….”
this reaction is happening…
By understanding and actually observing these “dynamics” of my mind
…I might be able to more quickly progress to….
“Ahhhhh……maybe not so…..”
“Maybe I shouldn’t believe what my mind seems to be telling me…”
“Maybe at this moment,
it’s simply STUCK
within those many, very powerful, automatic reactions factors…”
“ohhhhh…of course!”
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Perhaps, if I can just get a slight glimpse of this happening…
even a tiny glimpse can lead to greater awareness…
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and greater awareness can lead to…
ahhhh….a quieter, calmer, more content, steadier “mind”
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Remembering….
even a tiny glimpse can lead to greater awareness…
And greater awareness can lead to…
a quieter, calmer, steadier, more content “mind”
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Ahhhhhh…….how wonderful this might be!
I have confidence in the awareness
that this dynamic seems to be constantly and continually “happening…”
I have “faith” that a “shift” CAN happen.
I have “faith” that with persistence I can progress toward this shift.
I have “faith” that making this shift is actually possible.
And I have faith that this shift would be wonderful for myself and all beings!
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ahhhhhh…….wouldn’t this be wonderful????
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Pocket Perspectives 