Developing more “self kindness”
*As I become more aware of my own thinking and thoughts, I’m sometimes surprised by how “less-than-kind” I can tend to be with myself…my thoughts and actions toward others are usually so much kinder than they are toward myself.
“Hearing” the judgmental or critical thoughts about myself has actually been one of the more difficult aspects of developing greater awareness of my own thinking. It has also been a tremendous motivator to soften and to learn to become more self-accepting and self-nurturing.
Michael Singer, the author of one of the most insightful and helpful books I’ve ever read…. The Untethered Soul… compares living with and “hearing” those thoughts to living with an extremely verbal, irritating or annoying roommate…one who just jabbers on and on.
becoming more aware,
learning improved reasoning skills
and developing more self kindness and self nurturing
has lead to much gentler thinking on my part…
and probably a lot more happiness, too…
I’ve realized that when I’m kinder toward myself, not only does that benefit me, it also benefits my family, friends, the children that I teach, other people at work and in life….
the positive effects of that increased self-kindness
seem to spread to so many others, too.
Support in learning how to develop and nurture more self kindness: Dr. Kristin Neff, Self Compassion researcher and writer from the University of Texas, has some really helpful ideas to help decrease negative thinking and to increase self compassion.
She identifies 3 components in learning to develop more self compassion: “self kindness”
awareness of “common humanity”
The following youtube video is one of 5 youtube videos in which she explains each of these components..I think they’re really helpful…and her presentation manner is very kind and nurturing….
This particular video, video 2, elaborates on “self kindness”. It’s short and I think it’s very special…good ideas for developing insight and nurturing to help in shifting…
A few months ago, I created some “pages” called “A Wide Angle Lens:Adjusting”, (click link to get more explanations and to view other pages) to use when I’m trying to have more self compassion or self kindness. I used several of the steps from Kristin Neff and added several of my own.
And to Ven. Jampa Choepal…(Reflections from a Friend) thank you so much for your help, support and encouragement in developing more self kindness…thank you from the bottom of my heart…. : ) …and thank you to Peter and Julie too…. : ) ….still plugging away with that, but progressing…