The kinder we are with ourselves… the happier we’re going to be…and passing it along

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the kinder we are with ourselves, the happier we're going to be

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Perhaps some of us who tend to be “helpers” or “nurturers” may not be offering as much kindness or compassion to ourselves?  Maybe we’ve “misunderstood” or  misperceived, and think it’s  bit “selfish” or “self absorbed” to be more nurturing or compassionate with ourselves?

Or perhaps we’ve held ourselves up to overly high “standards” or “demands”  for ourselves?…. at times, comparing ourselves unfavorably with others?  seeing where there might be perceived areas of need in ourselves, rather than focusing on areas of strengths? It’s so easy to slip into those less kind points of view…and so potentially harmful for both ourselves and others. Maybe we thought those overly high expectations led to happiness?  I suppose I might have thought that they would. But…they didn’t…and they don’t!

Through the past few years I’ve learned differently!  I’ve observed that the kinder, more nurturing and compassionate I am with myself, the happier I’ve become. And the happier I’ve become,  the more I’ve passed that happiness along to others in my life.

Strangely enough, this increasing of self kindness, self compassion and nurturing my own happiness  (which did not come “naturally”),  has led to more happiness in others, too!  What a wonderful surprise that’s been!

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the happier we are within ourselves...

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the happier we are, the happier others will be

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the kinder we are with ourselves, the happier others will also be

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Kindness with ourselves benefits everyone

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nurturing, developing and sharing happiness

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Part of Nurturing Thursdays, Becca Given’s blog

About Pocket Perspectives

A blog about shifting perspectives...
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21 Responses to The kinder we are with ourselves… the happier we’re going to be…and passing it along

  1. Roberta says:

    I always appreciate your words of wisdom…

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  2. Thank you Roberta… I had a bit of a challenge finding words to try to explain what I was trying to “say”… the ideas in the post are somewhat of a new awareness for me…still going in. I hope it has some helpful ideas for others,too.

    Like

  3. Robin says:

    Thank you for the reminder, Kathy. I’ve not been treating myself very kindly lately. Time to change that. 🙂

    Like

    • Oh Robin, please do..I’ve learned the “hard way” that there’s no benefit to being “less than kind” with myself…it seems to happen but leads no where positive…in fact, it has the opposite effect…. you probably have so much you’re doing with the move… please try to be gentle and easy with yourself, if you can. (maybe take lots of breaks and go sit out on the dock with the water and birds…that should help! 🙂 …and keep taking and stockpiling photos…for when you can post them…I’m so curious!!!!!…. I love your photos and am missing your photo walks and bits of wisdom! ) Be kind to yourself, okay?…. 🙂

      Like

  4. Pingback: The kinder we are with ourselves…the happier we’re going to be…and passing that along to others | Reflections From a Friend

  5. Pingback: Nurturing Thursday – KindSight | "On Dragonfly Wings with Buttercup Tea"

  6. becca givens says:

    Your posts are always a joy to read!! Gems of wisdom snuggled into your creativity. 😀

    Like

  7. a wonderful reminder of how important and how impactful kindness towards our own precious self is. We are so quick to be harsh and unforgiving of our self and to expect things we don’t ever expect of others. I sometimes ask myself “if you were speaking about this to a friend, what would you say?’ it’s my way of reminding my self to be as kind to me as I am to others.

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  8. sufilight says:

    I tend to be hard on myself at times, but i am working on releasing this totally from my mind. I posted a quote today in my Facebook page about focusing only on the good in our lives, not on what we don’t like from our childhood, adolescence and adulthood. This is actually being kind to ourselves. Your message on how being kind and compassionate to ourselves actually helps us to bring happiness to others makes perfect sense!

    Like

    • Marie, those are such good ideas that you’re posting. I think that for “helpful” kinds of people that it might help to realize that nurturing oneself will benefit others, too…at least it did for me.

      Like

  9. nrhatch says:

    Good points, Kathy. Compassion starts “at home.”

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  10. nrhatch says:

    On an unrelated note: Tonight’s the night! (Last night and tomorrow night too):
    http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/two-upcoming-sky-events/

    BFF and I just enjoyed a peek at the Planetary Triple of Venus (bottom), Jupiter (left) and Mercury (right) in the night sky just past sunset. We’re going to head out again in a few minutes when the sky is a tad darker . . . but I think there are now too many clouds.

    You should be able to view it tonight and tomorrow at sunset (if clouds don’t get in the way).

    Like

    • Thanks Nancy…. So happy you saw them! 😀
      I had it written on the calendar for last night…and we were going to drive up to the top of the Berkeley hills to watch “them,” but it was really foggy over the whole bay last evening, so no go. And I just checked the live cam over the bay…foggy again tonight too! What a disappointment. Maybe the weather will clear tomorrow eve.
      http://sv.berkeley.edu/view/

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    • nrhatch says:

      We were “sidetracked” last night . . . and almost missed the window of opportunity tonight. Now the clouds have rolled in and blotted out the planets.

      I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you have fog-free viewing tomorrow.

      Like

  11. Pingback: Nurturing Thursday – Treasure | "On Dragonfly Wings with Buttercup Tea"

  12. Pingback: Nurturing “self kindness” and “self compassion” | Pocket Perspectives

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