“To know the truth, only cease to cherish opinions”…. nurturing happiness by loosening up on our “preferences” and “opinions”


to know the truth, only cease to cherish opinions   Third Zen Patriarch


Do you ever notice moments when your own or other people’s strong opinions and preferences get “activated?” …sometimes when interacting with someone  who has a different firm preference in what to do or say, a different opinion or preference from our own…sometimes leading to a feeling that’s  a bit like a dark cloud looming over us…


I do have a "preference" and this isn't it


Preferences and opinions can tend to be a bit extreme or exaggerated…
and sometimes they’re  firm and  strong…
in either positive or negative directions

Perhaps it might be  helpful
to remember that many of our own preferences are “simply” opinions,
created in and by our own minds…
coming out of our own early years and past histories,
perceived positive and negative life experiences,
reflecting our own varying strengths and weaknesses,
personal habits and habitual patterns of thinking and feeling

“opinions”….not “truth”…
usually not inherently right or wrong,
simply “opinions” or “preferences”
created in and by our own minds

extremes of preferences and opinions


When the dynamic of that reacting pattern gets set off…
it can feel strong, perhaps even overpowering…
But with awareness and positive reasoning, it can be moderated…
for the benefit of both oneself and others


I do have a preference and THIS isn't it...

Oddly enough, sometimes these critical opinions are ones that we have about ourselves…
directed toward ourselves,
perhaps, judgmental ideas, critical thoughts or unkind observations?
Sadly enough, we are sometimes so “hard” on ourselves…
Instead of being beneficial, critical opinions tend to undermine the positives

it’s so important to develop more understanding and awareness of the process involved
and to learn to moderate those thoughts and ideas…
to live with increasing kindness, acceptance and understanding


A few possible strategies or awarenesses I’ve found…
ones that might help with understanding, moderating and developing the potential
for living with greater flexibility, calmness and understanding…
both with ourselves and with others


possible stategies for loosening up on opinions and preferences


And one of the most important reasons to learn to moderate????
The awareness that our relationships within ourselves and with others
are more precious than our “opinions”…
and once we learn to moderate our own opinions,
others around us might become less strongly opinionated, too…
there is potential for far more happiness in both ourselves and others


opinions and preferences...loosening up to benefit others too


And so…
make haste to be kind,
make haste to learn to moderate our own preferences  and opinions,
make haste to nurture understanding and flexibility,
make haste to nurture happiness in ourselves and others…
Perhaps even make haste to cease to cherish our own “opinions”


to know the truth, only cease to cherish opinions Third Zen Patriarch


cherish kindness, understanding and flexibility~

About Pocket Perspectives

A blog about shifting perspectives...
This entry was posted in Wisdom and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to “To know the truth, only cease to cherish opinions”…. nurturing happiness by loosening up on our “preferences” and “opinions”

  1. sufilight says:

    I am taking an 8 week online program in CBT to help me to release anxiety, and the therapist asked me to fill out my thoughts in a worksheet of how differences of opinion create conflict for me. I responded that I hardly get into conflicts over different perspectives because I learned that we all see the world through our filters and life experiences. However, this doesn’t mean I don’t react internally. As an example, a friend of mine posted a quote a few months ago by the Dalai Lama in her Facebook page, and a man wrote that the Dalai Lama was the devil and to follow Jesus Christ instead. My reaction was one of annoyance and temptation to respond, lol, but let go of the feeling and temptation to respond.


  2. Yes…so many different filters and life experiences in each of us. I also react internally…

    Marie, I actually had a similar experience with a comment left a few months ago on Reflections…a very negative comment about the DalaiLama after one post with a nice quote by DalaiLama. I was stunned and indignant and didn’t know what to do about it. So, I wrote and asked Jampa and he said “nothing… just let it go, people have varying opinions and that commenter simply has his own opinion….leave the comment there and don’t reply to it….just let it go” After that I thought….”wow…if Jampa says that about a negative comment about the DalaiLama, one of his own special teachers, I guess I could learn to be less reactive in my life.” So, I simply left the comment there and didn’t respond.
    Sooooo many opinions, with some people more verbal about them than others.

    btw… I created this post to try to lighten up on my own opinions….because I really struggled and reacted last week with having a few too many opinions of my own, while visiting in NH…my less than positive opinions/reactions about what a less than alert, somewhat medicated 94 year old relative was saying to me…ahhh, so much to learn. (…. patience, too…I guess…. )


  3. you present this lesson in such a beautiful way. I try to accept that someone’s opinion is how they see the world, or a particular issue. How I see it may be and often is, different, but I am learning more and more to just back away, walk away from discussions where someone holds a strong opinion about something. It is so energy consuming and really I’m not going to change their opinion because it’s how they see the world. An excellent post.


  4. thank you, Joss…. it’s a “lesson” that I thought I’d made steady progress with, but stumbled a bit this past week… slow and steady, I guess. That’s a key…to just walk away, when possible. Joss, the way you phrased the ideas in your comment would make a helpful “reminder card”…


  5. Pingback: “Well….certainly I can do this ONE little thing…..” …encouraging and motivating oneself… | Pocket Perspectives

I'd love to "hear" your ideas about this....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.