The pages below refer to something that actually did happen a few years ago…
something seemingly trivial…
but which turned out to be very positive and important
in learning to understand my own thinking.
I’m sharing these pages because I think the ideas in them are so important…I’m guessing we all do our share of “skewed” thinking or “judging”…and I think that bringing our own potentially problematic thinking into awareness, at least for myself, is helpful and has actually lead to some very positive changes in my life…and so…
So….that was a good start…
but then, it shifted…..
I got to listen to my own negative thinking…
a bit like a DA prosecuting an accused defendant….
And then, it continued to shift…
and that’s when I started learning something really important about my own thinking…
And so…more perspective…
And so…for me to learn to NOT put as much unwarranted confidence
in my own thinking….
to be more flexible in looking at various points of view,
and to realize that any thinking will contain “skewing,” depending on the point of view
As a result of what I thought and learned, I came to have much more balanced perspective on my own thinking…to realize that my thinking is often limited….and….as most people do, I inflate the positive…..and expand on the negative…to the detriment, at times, of myself and those I care about.
Understanding and reflecting on these ideas has lead to so much more kindness, acceptance and understanding in my own life…it was a very, very precious life lesson for me…it might look a bit negative, which at the time it was…but it has lead to so much positive…and I’m deeply thankful to have been able to observe and learn so much from such a lesson…
as we all do…
we live and we learn
we grow and we change
we reflect and we accept…
life offers us so many lessons
and for us to try to be aware and accept
to double check…to gauge carefully…to accept and to shift…
My husband (36 years together) just read through the draft of this post….I had a compilation of these pages on the wall for many months and he really appreciated my honesty and openness to changing….and he just walked off chuckling…ah ha, a husband’s/partner’s dream come true….acknowledgment of being mistakenly judged….and then, in that wonderful 11 year old boy’s voice said….. “she thought I was wrong…….. but I was right…….” awwwww….. such a special person….
Kathy, I was chuckling as I went along with you into the mis-gauging mental ride, as I have been there done, that. Did this just today! My nephew’s wife sent me a gift that was um… a challenge as the edibles she sent melted in the box as it was wrappred in a plastic bag, and it is from Thailand where thy live. LOL, But… I didn’t anything as she is sensitive and young so gave them my thanks and appreciated her being thoughtful. She was so happy with her gift and that was enough for me!
Today, I recieved another box from her, with beautiful gifts, soaps, a sarong, a puzzle, dried fruits in sealed box and my first thought was she found out about her previous gift’s fiasco and was embarassased. In her culture they are very concerned about gift giving. I was actually struggling with this for a while, thinking just like you did, “sis must have forgotten and told them”‘ “now my niece in law is going to get discouraged.” Sis didn’t say antything to them, so here I created a mini mental concern over a beautiful gift. lol.
And speaking of gifts………… 🙂 today was a very good day for me. I recieved the suncatchers. THANK YOU so much, I got more than what I asked for so it’s a suncatcher party! I will be hanging them in my office window tomorrow. Again, thank you, your gift is appreciated. 🙂
Hi Marie…..ahhh….going on one of the mis-gauging rides…I’m all too familiar with those too….it’s good that you got that situation clarified…it’s continues to be such a surprise to me to “hear” my own thoughts at times.
And so happy that you received the suncatchers…please feel free to pass them along to others, if there are more than you want or have space for….enjoy… : )
Great title for these cards, Kathy! And a wonderful lesson.
When we look at the world through the clouded lens of past experience . . . images are distorted. We need to remember to STOP LOOK and LISTEN more and JUDGE less.
Thanks Nancy…I usually try to stay more in the “enhancing the positive” range…but I also try to keep in mind that coming to terms with less positive thinking can be helpful, too….at least it is for me…..and yes, as you write…judging less is key….
(ps…Marie mentioned the suncatchers…you had asked about them, (I think it was the “notice” one) but I never got your address…if you’re interested, please feel free to email me…)
ps…I was just looking back through older links and found your post….”what’s the best that could happen”…perfect balance there to the way I was thinking in the car. I’ll link your post here: http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/whats-the-best-that-could-happen/
oh my gosh… I do this often and feel so stupid… Im so used to doing this, that at times I think of negative thoughts on purpose because I know I will usually be wrong… that way I am sort of pleasantly surprised. Expecting the worst… kinda thing… It gets confusing lol… i try to stick to being positive but being flexible now and not expecting perfection… Remembering that in life, not everything will go exactly the way I want…
As you listen to your thoughts more often….you might be hearing lots of this “stuff”…the “monkey mind” chattering away…I’m guessing that your martial arts class will be helping with calming the mind…so many positive benefits from being able to do that…I sure wish I had started that at a younger age!…it’s definitely worth practicing (a lot!) when you’re young!!! You’re doing great…I love reading about your progress! (btw pondering turtle is the young woman from Australia….who is part of the community garden in the post https://pocketperspectives.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/may-all-our-innate-seeds-of-natural-bravery/ )
A person I love very much does this. She starts negative…I used to get sucked in…but now I just wait for her to figure things out, sometimes with a little coaching from me. Amazing how many times all things come up positive, isn’t it? Looking at my window gem…”Stop! Stop! I’m HAPPY now!” Thank you.
I’ve really been surprised when I listen to the jabbering away of my thoughts….much less positive than I would have thought…it really can become a habit and is so important to learn how damaging that perspective can be…your dearly loved person is a very lucky person to have you coaching her along…I have that role too….and you’re right…things usually come up positive. And ah yes…”Stop…I’m happy now…”…I’m so happy it’s on your window! you’re very welcome…. : )
oh excellent story and lesson. We let our thoughts just go round and round and spiral downward too many times.
Isn’t it something that I got the whole story scenario given to me in such a concise 15 minute life lesson….and wow!…that lesson really sunk in! yes…the round and round of spiraling thoughts….I’ve called it “mind-mumbling”…and compared it to bubbling mud pots in Yellowstone.. https://pocketperspectives.wordpress.com/pull-weeds/mind-mumbling/ and youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cEHEgTppSM&feature=player_embedded
Oops, you caught me! This is one of my greatest weaknesses when I have overscheduled myself and hurry too much and think too little! Double-Check is such a great guideline! Bless you for the graphics that will not allow this precept to escape my little brain anytime soon!
Ah yes….”hurry too much and think too little…”….that’s a great way of phrasing that!
And I used stamped metal as a background…partly to do with cars, but mostly to do with how imprinted my/our “habits of mind” can be…similar to stamped, imprinted metal…hard to smooth out, too….but, of course, it can be done….
Wonderful story that is so true to life for just about anyone. Not everyone, however, is willing to share how easily they mis-gauge, but we all do it. Thanks for such refreshing honesty.
thank you Connie, It took a leap of courage to post this one…but I figured it’s helpful for me to attempt to be honest with myself and to look at any type of learning experience, whether positive or less than positive, and to learn from it… and that there might be others who might get some type or benefit from my awareness of mis-gauging.