I try to pause and reflect before saying or doing something….before reacting….to keep these criteria in mind….
Is is expressed without harshness?
Is it well intended?
Is it beneficial?
Is it timely?
Is it true?
And if what I’m about to say or do doesn’t meet those criteria, to use restraint in choosing whether it should be said or done…..and usually I find it better to wait….
And a shorter version of that…..
this is sometimes referred to as “wise speech”…..
reflecting, considering and making a wise choice…..
is it kind?….is it helpful?
~
Another version of this “page,”with a sky photo: “Wise Speech: Is it kind, is it helpful?”
Pocket Perspectives 
For all that you do with your blog and being so candid…i nominated you for the Genuine Blogger Award….I hope you can accept!!!
http://sistersofpower.wordpress.com
Peace to you
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Thank you so much…what a lovely thought…to be genuine…definitely a wonderful word and aspiration….thank you…
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Nice piece! Exactly my kind of thought. I like this and I’m rebloging it! Keep up the good work!
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thank you… I find it’s a matter of keeping those words right in front of me…they were on our kitchen cupboard door for several years…and slowly, over time, change happened. One of the earlier posts,the one that was on the cupboard door…with a sky background instead of the forest floor…. https://pocketperspectives.wordpress.com/2011/07/14/3120/
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Reblogged this on Wise Counsel.
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Excellent criteria. Thanks.
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you’re welcome…we’ve found them to be helpful
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Yes, an important bit of advice we all need to follow. TY! 😉
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We’ve been using these criteria in our home for about 3 years….and the dynamic and interactions really have transformed…a wonderful shift…but it took lots of practice…
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what an awesome practice. Namaste.
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yes….it’s been well worth the effort….
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If you can’t say something nice, well… I love your “bulletin boards” for the blogosphere! Keep up the good work.
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thank you….yes….Thumper said it all…. “if you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all…” 11 seconds of thumper…
ah yes…bulletin boards….it’s so much easier creating virtual bulletin boards than climbing on/along classroom counters and desks, with letter cutouts, photos, stapler in hand….now that was a balancing act!
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lovely post; and you are right—thumper’s got it going on!!
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good old thumper…of course thumper was only dealing with Bambi and the crew….
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Good thoughts and practice, Kathy. Thanks!
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Thanks, Nancy….It’s a harder practice than I might have originally thought…but gets easier with time…
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Wonderful, marvelous WISE SPEECH here! Thank you and many blessings wished on you!
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Thank you for those blessings….thank you, thank you…
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Great advice!
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thanks…following those ideas have made a big difference…not easy, but good, positive changes
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Great advice. It’s always better to reflect so one can act rather than re-act. 🙂
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yes….that’s just what I’m trying to learn/practice…to act, rather than to react….some interactions are easier than others to do that….
For the past week, I’ve actually been making and using a new page using that idea, for those moments when it’s tempting to react, rather than choose a positive action/words etc…with the steps: notice, stop, evaluate, reflect, use good, valid reasoning, and make a shift and act/talk/think out of positive reasoning…. keeps me busy and is starting to sink in and feel more natural.
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Great wisdom and advice. Thanks for your simple, dynamic way of sharing a profound truth. Blessings, Connie
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Thank you, Connie. I’m happy that others can relate to and get value out of the way I try to express my ideas. I’ve found that the ideas in the “consider before saying or doing” pages are so important and can make such a difference if practiced.
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Pingback: Mindfulness: Choosing how we talk…(and think) | Pocket Perspectives
Such wisdom, my friend–and very timely. I love these criteria for communication.
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keeping those in mind has made such a big difference in our household… I hope they might be helpful for others too.
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