I sometimes seem to think that if I can just figure out “why?” someone is doing something in a certain way, or “why?” a situation is evolving the way that it does, that I’ll be able to accept what is happening….or maybe even be able to “fix” things…. but people and situations are often far too complex for me to really understand…and so perhaps for me to learn to accept that things often can’t be understood…situations and people are just too complex… link to “Why” page in Pull Weeds section
Much of the time, I try to figure things out when people that I care about are having a difficult time… and I want to try to help them out….so it’s done out of very positive intention. Even though coming out of positive intentions, people are just too complex, with all of their strengths and weaknesses, past experiences, habitual reacting patterns and the conditions of this moment, to be able to figure out…it’s just too complex.
Other times, however, the reason I might be “spinning my wheels” and trying so hard to figure out “why?”, is that I don’t like what is happening…I have a preference for how I want things to be or go and what is happening isn’t it….“I do have a preference, and this isn’t it….” I then sometimes (well, more than sometimes) have a tendency to keep thinking about it, as I attempt to figure out why and try to fix things. That thinking can sometimes lead to touching on some very “tender areas” and negative types of reactions, on my part. That repetitive thinking could be called “Mind Mumbling”, or if it’s negative, “Muddy Dog Thinking” Even if I get some insights, the situation often doesn’t change…especially if I get involved in a figurative “Push/Shove” dynamic. And so for me to learn to be more careful to limit this type of “over-thinking”…
Another problem with trying to figure out “why?”
is that it’s very easy to add my own interpretations, or misinterpretations….
to “Jump to Conclusions”….
perhaps like a “Triple Jump”, possibly into some mud….
for me to try to learn to accept
that people and situations can be very complex…
and that sometimes, there is very little I can do
to help, change or fix things…
and to learn to accept “not understanding.”